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Enough//From Here are two songs I wrote around the new year 2018 about finding peace and contentment amidst the bullshit of past, present, and future.
Enough is a reflection on a middle class upbringing. An upbringing in which the electricity never gets cut off but bills are often argued about. An upbringing in which there is always food on the table, but sometimes it's spaghetti with ketchup for sauce and hotdogs for meatballs.
The song points to cracks in the foundation. "Water into wine" a testament to Mom's ability to stretch a dollar, but also a nod to the fact that that dollar might be half the recipe for a bottle of two-buck-chuck.
The verses hint at the small comforts provided to a child by his or her caretaker - a warm place to sleep, something sweet - while pointing out the humanness of our parents - not having the financial stability they'd thought they might, questioning the existence of God, or battling substance abuse ("mom's in the kitchen cooking up" could be looked at in two very different ways).
Through the middle section, the refrain of "enough" becomes a mantra...
As From Here emerges, the protagonist says "enough" to the bullshit, to the pity party, to the ennui and listlessness. The strings bounce in time with the rising energy, moving the journey from past to future. From reactivity to proactivity. To self-love and self-care.
As the outro rolls on, our hero points the camera outward. Their voice shifts from "I" to "we" and "you." They ask the question as if asking for advice, as if acknowledging that we're all in this together, that we all go through this shit sometimes so let's ask for help, and let's help one another figure it out.
Just as our lives are, Enough//From Here is ripe with imperfection. Wrong notes, voice cracks, and background sounds dot the soundscape just under the surface to remind us that imperfection is fine - that rawness and vulnerability exist for all of us, child and parent alike. And that through all of the shit we may face, that we can accept and love the humanness and imperfections in ourselves just as we can accept and love the humanness and imperfections of our idols.
credits
released May 9, 2018
Engineered by: Matt Claussen and Cooper Stites
Produced, Recorded, and Performed by: Jake William Capistran
Drums: Matt Ramsdell
Violin, Cello: Alexis Mahler
Album Photo: Corbin Corbin
Recorded at Portland Community College Studio, and The Hallowed Halls
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